Stephen
really just needs to calm down and take a break from everything. After spending
pages upon pages lamenting about his transgressions and sitting in utter awe
and fear of the firey pits of hell, he makes the sharpest 180 degree turn ever.
Now, his entirely life is focused on “the duties of his station in life,
circled about its own centre of spiritual energy.” What scares me the most, and
partially bothers me, is the extremes measures he takes to ensure that he can
repent for his sins. Some things, like taking special notice and adhering to
all of the feast days and fasting times, seems somewhat monkish but generally
harmless.
Others,
however, come off as Stephen trying to find a quick fix (despite its
difficulty) for his sins rather than truly atoning for them in some way. For
example, Stephen goes out of his way to ensure that “whenever it was possible
he subjected himself to [a] unpleasant odour.” Subjecting himself to bad smells
will not absolve his soul. Putting yourself through corporally painful or
cumbersome situations does not bring you spiritual enlightenment and
everlasting life.
I
do not mean to come off as preachy or theological, especially because I am
speaking from only the prior knowledge bestowed by a Regis education. I also do
not mean to belittle Stephen’s efforts overall or his intention, the latter
being truly commendable. However, the way in which Stephen tries to attain his
salvation or forgiveness for his sins seems trite. He had a lot of sex, so now
he must deny himself bodily pleasure. This understanding lacks any deeper physiological
reflection on his actions or theological analysis of why what he did was wrong
or how to properly address it. Ultimately, this seems like the reaction of a
pre-Vatican II intellectual Christian: strict adherence to the letter of the
law. This gives way to his understanding that Stephen can “undo all that he had
done” by metaphysically counterbalancing his past actions. Maybe it is just me,
but penance should be much deeper than that.
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